The Nun (2018): written by Gary Dauberman and James Wan; directed by Corin Hardy; starring Taissa Farmiga (Sister Irene), Demian Bichir (Father Burke), and Jonas Bloquet (Frenchie): A minor entry in The Conjuring franchise gives us an origin story for the Evil Nun who shows up repeatedly in that franchise. Short story, it's a demon named Valar. Long story... it's a demon named Valar!
It's 1952 and Vatican trouble-shooter Father Burke and novitiate Sister Irene travel to Romania to investigate whether or not a convent/abbey has fallen from Grace. Boy, has it ever! With some help from a local French-Canadian played by a Belgian actor and nicknamed 'Frenchie'* (whew, the creativity), they do battle with the Forces of Evil.
The movie occupies an uneasy and often counter-productive realm between the Roman Catholic horrors of The Exorcist and the demon zombies of the Evil Dead franchise. It all really becomes quite silly, especially once a holy relic containing some of the blood of Jesus Christ shows up. The demon's powers wax and wane according to the plot -- it can seal someone in a grave and bury them, for example, but its minions can be dispatched by ax and shotgun.
Taissa Farmiga is as cute as a button as novitiate and later Sister Irene, sent to fight evil because she had visions as a child. Demien Bichir does what he can with his underwritten priest. Frenchie is, well, Frenchie. What, there were no real French-Canadians available? A few effective jump scares are about all the horror this entry has to offer. Not recommended.
* Alas, not the Jon Lovitz character.
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| I'm Frenchie ! |
Annabelle: Creation (2017): written by Gary Dauberman; directed by David F. Sandberg; starring Anthony LaPaglia (Samuel Mullins), Miranda Otto (Esther Mullins), Stephanie Sigman (Sister Charlotte), Lulu Wilson (Linda), Samara Lee (Bee), and Talitha Bateman (Janice):
Annabelle: Creation (2017) is the best horror movie in The Conjuring franchise, in part because director David Sandberg has shown some talent for scares here and in Light's Out (2016). Many of its flaws come from the efforts of the producers to hammer the movie into the pre-existing Annabelle timeline created by the first Conjuring movie and the first Annabelle movie. This leads to an open ending and a coda that's ridiculous if one has seen Annabelle and confusing if one hasn't. Oh, well.
Anthony LaPaglia and Miranda Otto look very... glum as two of the three major adult characters. Stephanie Sigman is a lot more energized as a loveable nun. The child and teen actors are all fairly solid as Catholic orphans who get to live in a country house some time in the 1950's, a house that has the demonic doll Annabelle hanging out in a locked room.
That room will not stay locked, folks! Even though it's wall-papered in pages from The Bible!
Not that it really matters if the door stays locked. Annabelle has some pretty terrific teleportational powers to go along with her atypical (for a doll) mobility. That she was supposed to be a children's doll innocent of all evil when created has always struck me as hilarious: she's clearly meant to scare any child with the misfortune to receive her. Anthony LaPaglia is cast here as her doll-making creator, so it's his fault. His... and THE DEVIL's !!! I think. On the bright side, tragedy stops LaPaglia from making more than one Annabelle: she was originally supposed to be one of a hundred.
There are some decent scares, a lot of improbable character moments, and a genuine feeling of tragedy attached to one of the children, polio-stricken Janice. There's a genuinely eerie-looking scarecrow. There are a lot of jump scares. Really, Annabelle can only teleport if her unexpected new location creates a jump scare.
The makers of the film indulge way too much in one of my new Horror Don'ts: Don't give your ghostly or demonic presence X-Man-level telekinetic abilities. If you do decide to go down this route, use those powers sparingly. Perhaps only once in your movie. And even then, maybe off-screen. A demon who rampages around like the Hulk isn't scary after about ten seconds. It's goddam stupid. If you want to make a superhero movie, have your telekinetic wundergeist get into a Jedi battle with the bulldozing snooze that was the rebooted Blair Witch and the escalating Sith-like forces of evil in every Paranormal Activity movie after the first one.
Oh, well. Boy, Anthony LaPaglia looks pissed off at being in this movie, though. Lightly recommended.
Annabelle: written by Gary Dauberman; directed by John R. Leonetti; starring Annabelle Wallis (Mia), Ward Horton (John), Tony Amendola (Father Perez), and Alfre Woodard (Evelyn) (2014): With the budget of a TV movie (about $7 million, which is probably less than the catering budget for an Avengers movie), Annabelle was hellaprofitable both at home and abroad. And while reviled by many of the same critics who praised the first movie in this 'series' (The Conjuring), Annabelle seemed more than adequate to me. It also lacked the almost programmatic replication of The Amityville Horror that ruined The Conjuring for me.
Unlike The Conjuring, Annabelle is "completely fictional." Ha ha. That creepy doll drove its own sub-plot in The Conjuring. Here, it's the star! The film takes place in the studio's version of the Marvel Cinematic Universe -- a horror universe based on the career of the regrettable Ed and Lorraine Warren, who were at least pretty good at selling themselves as ghost-busters. They're referenced in this movie but aren't part of the main plot, which is instead an origin story for that creepy doll.
Ah, that creepy doll. In 'reality,' the creepy doll was a large Raggedy Ann. Such a representation would aid with my suspension of disbelief, but the copyright holders of the Raggedy Ann and Andy dolls wouldn't allow the producers of The Conjuring or Annabelle to use their doll in the movies. So instead we get a doll which looks ridiculously malevolent even before it turns into a Hell-powered terror-machine. Anyone who wanted this doll would have to be insane. There is probably a better movie in that concept somewhere.
The plot revelations and narrative beats of Annabelle are familiar, though delivered with a certain level of competence. The lead actress (hilariously named Annabelle in real life) carries the weight of the often ridiculous narrative well; the other actors don't have a lot to do, though old pros Alfre Woodard and Tony Amendola do as much as they can with the material. I wish the creators of movies that use Roman Catholicism would at least take time to read Roman Catholicism for Dummies. I really do. Lightly recommended.
